If I don't let myself be happy now then when?

I haven't updated in quite a bit. I have been really busy with school, after school activities, and work. I might be visiting a college November 11th now I have to find someone to cover for me at work. I am kinda excitied about it. The college, not the work.
I have stopped talking to Steven. He was bragging to me about how he got some other girl's number without even trying. Salt. In. The. Wound. Why can't he just be like "Hey I'm not really interested in you"? I swear people build me up just  to break me down. I truly don't understand men. I wish I did. I really do. I wish they all wore signs of what they want, so we know if we have a shot or not. It would make my life easier. 
I have now coined the phrase "Rina Syndrome" or "Winona Ryder Syndrome" after her performance as me in Lucas.
There is only so many times this can happen before you stop blaming the guy and start blaming yourself. I wish I knew what it was about me that sets people off. Or why I was born in the 'friends zone" Seriously, I have a vagina. I am not one of the guys. You would think someone who makes so many wishes at least one of them would come true.

just leave me your stardust to remember you by

My last entry is uber mopetastic. I decided to think of something that makes me happy and write about it. I have been on a really big North East rules kick. I love the fall. Now this may be biased but no one has fall as beautiful as we do. The other day,when I was waiting for the bus, it was a bit windy and because of daylight savings the sun was rising. It was amazing. The leaves were blowing everywhere and the sky was orange and purple as I listened to "So here we are" by Bloc party. Sometimes when I am going to work there is like this amazing tunnel of trees and we drive through tons of leaves and it is just perfect. Nothing I love more than this time of year. Everything is so perfect. The weather is a bit chilly but its perfect for walking. I love walking home stepping on those crunchy leaves with music on. It makes my day and helps me really clear my head. This pretty much my love letter to the East. Stay beautiful forever.