By mother nature that green eyed slut

Since I have begun college I have been nearly 100 percent honest about who I am and my struggles. It feels like I am shedding my skin. But I don’t like it. I feel vulnerable. I feel like the friends I have made here don’t look at me the same way my friends back home did. They look at me like I am fragile or unstable. Back home I was looked at something to aspire to be. I am going to start building my shell again. I need walls. I am not happier with total honesty crap. I just feel more exposed. I don’t like it. Its harder to keep a facade going all the time but I rather have that than have people look at me like I am less than something.

Its sad that I can’t find a balance. I just want to be happy but neither of these options make me happy.
 

Anyway in less ANGST-Y news.
I am almost done with perhaps the BEST MIX I have ever created. I love it so much already. I can't wait to post it.
Today is domestic Tuesday so I am getting my clean on.
Also my friends are all happily falling in love and its sorta the greatest thing ever.
Patrick and his boyfriend told each they love each other.
Katie S. has a boyfriend now too and they love each other.
Megan and her almost girlfriend are doing good.
Andi and this chick are starting to talk and they like each other.
Also another one I can't talk about but its probably my favorite <3!
I get really happy when good things happen to good people. Especially people who deserve it.
I was so happy with Steven and now people around me who are long over due for it can finally experience too.
Its truly amazing.

I love Say Anything's new album.
Sainthood is really growing on me.

I saw Brand New on Friday. It wasn't as great as I expected because I was so far back and I missed the opening acts. Plus since I wasn't with Natalia and Jamie it wasn't the same. It made me really home sick.
I went trick or treating with my cousins on Saturday. I got a lot of candy. I am not a big sweet tooth person but it was still sorta fun. They live in a subdivision so it felt like a movie Halloween.
Sunday I studied and watching the Yankee game with Megan, Jessica, Andi and my roomies. It was fun. Mostly because the Yankees won.

I'm sorry I haven't been updating a lot. I have just been thinking so much I don't really have time to sort through it all.

I want to think less and do more but it just doesn't feel right.